Normally, my little breaks from the blog were always because of little spurts of days where I was just a little too preoccupied with life, that getting time to sit down without the urge to pass out from exhaustion, was just too hard to come by. This time however, was usually would last a couple weeks, turned into almost 3 months! I think what made the past few weeks so difficult to catch up was many of the usual day-to-day stuff, but what was new entirely was the overwhelming amount of challenges that were in those weeks. Much of my time has been spent with so much anxiety and stress about so many different things to do with my work and my life, that I just lacked the usual affliction to catch up on what was already an almost unsurmountable amount of posts I needed to catch up on. But after a little exhale and a deep breathe, I am here sitting down, with a urge to pour out a little bit. I have many pictures to share, and video as well, but all that good stuff will follow this post separately.
Some how, some way, I let all the mentioned challenges get the best of me these last few weeks. I let work, finances, various responsibilities use up all my energy - or should I say drain me. So much so that it has left me deflated. And in the midst of all that deflation I forgot to nurture this wonderful blog and maintain it for everything it means to me - everything it means to people who looked forward to seeing the casual updates as much as the bigger milestone post of Naomi. As much as I've had to deal with change these past few weeks, Naomi and Nadia have had to as well. So much growth and beauty from those two, that it easily balances me back to where I need to be. Back to where my feet can grasp the soil underneath them.
As a father and husband, I contemplate failure very often these days. Failure to provide, failure to serve as the right example, failure to give all of myself to wife and daughter.... failure to just keep this ship moving forward. It's easy to get lost in that. Easy to presume that I will never amount to the person I try so hard to be - a fixture of stability and calm for family, a rock that can weather the crash of every wave. I forget the most simplest of things. I forget to see what's in front of me sometimes. I forget to see the wealth that I have accumulated in my life. I commit the worst failure of all - to acknowledge my accomplishments. My wife, my daughter, and the life that we have so long as each other is there. What more can a man truly ask for? How can any of life's complications ever blind me from the beauty that is my family. My growing family.
So let me get back. Let me get back to the joy of documenting this life of mine as the happy hubby. Much more to come in the next few days. Lots of catch up to do. Nonetheless, so much to share.
-happy hubby